And just like that a new year is already here. I feel like the older I get time seems to be speeding up and flying by. Maybe now its just I realize more and more how precious each day is and how quickly days go bye – time that we don’t get back. There is no promise of tomorrow we only have today. A new year before us. A year uncharted, yet what can it hold? Success? Fortune? Heartbreak? Illness? Devastation? New Friendships?

 

My Christmas holiday, although it was wonderful, didn’t go as planned, but then again I keep learning over and over (sometimes I think I am just a really slow learner) that I make my plans but God orders my steps. Christmas Eve I woke up with what you would think is just a nasty cold but I couldn’t hear out of my left ear. I was concerned but of course I was not spending Christmas Eve at a clinic I figured it would just pass. Unfortunately it didn’t and I kept feeling worse, so by the 27th I finally reluctantly (may have had my husband, sister and bestie all forcing me to go) made my way to this ER to get checked out. Keep in mind we were up at our cottage so there was no walk in clinic and of course due to the Holidays there was only one doctor on staff. So of course I was in for a lengthy wait. After 4 hours I finally saw the Dr who diagnosed me with a ear infection and let me know that had I waited, my ear drum looked like it was about to burst. She told me give the antibiotics 24-48 hours to work and I should start to feel some relief from the pain and my hearing will return.

It is a scary feeling to not be able to control your own health. To have no hearing in my one ear was scary and it quickly made me very thankful for the ability to hear and how often I take that for granted. As I was sitting in the hospital room waiting to be seen I was quickly drawn back to a year ago to the day (Dec 27, 2013) when my 6 week old was at that same hospital very sick with RSV and had to be transferred to a bigger hospital by ambulance. I was sitting there thinking wow that was a year ago. I remember being so scared and not knowing what was going to happen or how I could help him. He was my baby and I couldn’t do anything to protect him from the germs or make him heal any quicker than his body could. How was that a year ago – in that moment it felt like yesterday. How quickly time goes bye.

2014 was good year. It was a year full of pain, illness and struggles but it was also full of blessings, laughter, adventure, answered prayers and lots of love. I love reflecting on where we were and where we’ve come. Not to dwell on the hard stuff but to rejoice in all the good. To be thankful for the good times and the hard ones because the force us to grow and help develop character.

2015! Here we are… I am not one to make New Years Resolutions I’d rather think of them as goals. At my family Christmas Dinner I had a clear Christmas ornament that I had painted in gold each families name on. I then handed each adult a piece of paper and asked them to write 3 goals for 2015  and 3 (or more) dreams they had for their lives. We then rolled them up and stuffed them in the appropriate labeled ornament and hung them on the tree. They got packed away with the other ornaments when the tree came down and next Christmas we will open them up and each person can reflect on how they did. I have so many goals for myself this year. This year is a big year for me personally and for my family (I’ll be sharing more of that later) and so I know that 2015 will be a great year. I am not naive to think it will be without its hardships but I also know that I don’t walk this journey alone. I am excited to see where this blog will go this year. I have big dreams for it.

I would love to tell you that after 48 hours the antibiotics made me feel better but unfortunately I still can’t hear out of my ear and I am blowing my nose and coughing like crazy so looks like another trip to the doctors is in the near future. But oh how lucky I am to have the ability to have health care available to me and just because I feel lousy it does not mean I didn’t make the most out of my time with my family over the holidays. To say that I was dreading my husband returning to work today would be the truth. I loved having him home every day with me and my babies. We spent lots of time laughing over the holidays, eating way too much good food, we went skating, played in the snow, had coffee dates, played lots of games and my heart was so full. Christmas although it wasn’t how I had planned it was perfect because it was spent with the ones I love. I am so excited for this new year and I am taking one step forward.